Hero

For this week's Trifecta challenge (http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/), use the word "funk", as synonymous with "slump" in 33-333 words. Here's mine:

To live the hero's life, that's what he wanted. Hell, it's what he needed. Twoscore self-critical years was ample time to know that he was a fearful slouch, unchallenged by a mundane existence of his own jumbled construction. Sure he’d seen hard times, and on occasion he'd been swallowed into the belly of the whale. But instead of emerging transformed, he'd sat back on what may have been the whale's tongue, but was more likely his leather couch, grabbed a bag of chips and flipped through a hundred calamitous channels. In his history of shallow and short relationships he had no doubt become entangled with the archetype temptress. And though she had pulled him with resolute firmness into the vestibule in which she presented offerings of masculine redemption for his grasping fingers, he inevitably crawled away broken, sniveling, hurt and none the wiser. He'd flirted with the unknown and had once embarked with few tenuous paces down a road less-traveled (offered by the nearby community college), but before the appearance of long shadows on the edge of a dark wood, he had abruptly turned and hastened a retreat to the eroded and muddied path of his present position as a computer programmer, working on call, as needed, for a successful software firm.

But today was different. After waiting for the restart of his beleaguered laptop, his funk lifted with the illumination of its reignited screen, and he was held aloft on a caffeine pedestal. His hands knowingly lowered to their accustomed position, his right hand enveloped the mouse, guided the cursor to a decisive click. With adroit fingers he began the hero's journey in the Google search bar:

exotic singles cruise

Good Faith

Here's a 33-word poem about "love gone wrong" - the theme for this week's Trifecta writing challenge. Oh, and I can't use the words: love, sad, tears, wept, heart, pain. I assume my use of the word "lover" is OK?

Arguably,

as I told Joe

(good friend)

I’d “give it (us)

a year”,

I was acting

with as much

good faith

as when you

told your lover

we’d be through

before

year’s 

end

For http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/

Sea Life

This is for the latest Trifecta Challenge (Trifextra Week 100?)
http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/
Here are the directions: 

We are asking for a 33-word response to the following snippet:

The first time I saw. . .

Here's the catch: all of your 33 words must be one syllable each.  We're going low-brow on your this week.  Or not.  Can you class it up under these restrictions?  Give us your best.
To clarify, we are giving you 5 words.  We want another 33 from you, for a grand total of 38

With those directions, I could only think "poem", and I employed word contractions after some resistance to get me to the word limit. Here goes:

The first time I saw
a whale
breach

I thought:
"Sky's no home for whales"

The first time I saw
a whale
beached

I thought:
"Sand's no home for whales"

We too act
as though
we're not home